Season 2, Episode 4: if you think you're old, you probably are
Listen to this episode here. Transcript below.
This season is all focused on lessons I’ve learned over the past 16+ years of professional tattooing, and this episode today is a topic I hear about a ton and think about even more. A lot of folks think that tattooing - both giving them and getting them - is a young person’s game. To a degree, the career is. Typically by my age - I’m 45 - you see a lot of people moving into something else that’s a bit easier on the body. But for clients? The vast majority of my clients are moms in their 30s through 50s…I think I have a hold on the middle aged mom demographic. I’m really not kidding. Everyone openly gets tattooed these days as the stigma fades into history.
That said, I do have a fair number of young clients who get their first tattoos from me, and that’s always an honor to do a first tattoo. A year or two ago, I got a call to the shop on a Saturday morning from a young woman asking to make an appointment. Like most professional tattoo shops, we don’t make appointments over the phone; we require deposits to book a time. So I filled her in, and asked her, have you been tattooed here at this shop before. She said she had, so I then asked, who was your artist and when did you get tattooed here? At the time we had myself and two other women tattooing, and knowing the date would tell me who was working at the shop at that time. She said she had been tattooed several years prior, and that she couldn’t remember the artist’s name, but she said it was by “the old lady.”
Based on the date, listeners, that old lady…that was me. I said, why yes, that would be me. I am…the old lady. Oh cool, she said, can I come in today? I said, nope, I’m booked.
Which was true, wasn’t just over the old lady comment.
It’s funny, when I was her age, probably in my early 20s, I likely would’ve thought someone in their mid 40s was old too. I find now though, that thinking about age is all relative. Sure, my body has changed. My hormones are wonky. I have less tolerance for crap. I need more sleep. It takes me more time to recover from workouts and injuries. But overall, I feel better than I did when I perceived myself as NOT old. And that’s largely due to always taking care of my health, eating well, not smoking, and feeling confident in my own skin.
If you think you’re old, you are. We had a client in the shop several months ago dodder in, barely able to walk. She refused to put on shoes - she would only wear those weird fluffy sock slipper things that one gets as a stocking stuffer at Christmas, and her feet would be covered in grass every time she came in. I didn’t tattoo her, but one of my coworkers did. And her skin was a challenge. She spent nearly the whole time in the chair complaining about various maladies and illnesses, commenting over and over again how she was just SO old. Now, we have to take a copy of everyone’s photo ID when they get tattooed - that’s required by the health department. So I was curious. And she wasn’t elderly. She was…like, 60.
I’m not trying to judge this person, besides the whole wearing only socks in public thing. I’m guessing maybe gout? Something like that was the cause? All I know is she wasn’t allowed to come back in with only slipper socks on…that was bizarre. But seriously, the amount of complaints this poor person had. Feeling horrible. Feeling awful. Feeling decrepit and ancient. I have no doubt she did feel badly…her skin definitely told the tale of ill health. But she wasn’t old. I have plenty of friends far older who are in great shape.
It is indeed really interesting engaging with clients in this way. Seeing who feels old. Who perceives themselves as old. My client this past Saturday was about the same age as myself, and we spent an enjoyable session talking about working with folks far younger than us. And we agreed, neither of us think of ourselves as old. We’re both at the best place we’ve ever been in our lives.
How? I think this is largely about mindset. If you have the perception that at a certain age it’s all just going to go to hell, guess what…you’re going to focus on the aches and pains, and you’re going to lean into those. You won’t go for the new job, because why? You can’t learn something new or start over at that age, oh no. You won’t pick out the cute outfit, or try to workout, or eat the healthy food, because, hey, the damage has already been done so screw it, I’m too old to change.
I am here to tell you that mindset is an absolute load of crap. It’s not to say that there aren’t biological things that do change with age, and I do think we need different recovery time as we do age, but there’s no foregone conclusion that just because someone else we knew went downhill, we will too. I hear that from parents a lot - oh, just wait until those kids are my age and they’ll fall apart too. Again, load of crap.
Today is all about motivating YOU to stop using age as an excuse. Again, if you think you’re too old, you are. Just give up now then, and stop listening. But if you’re identifying with some of this episode, and you want to be your best self at any age…listen on. I’m someone who started my tattoo career at 29, became a pilot at 40, am still running 100 mile races at 45, and I have a ton of plans for my future. My body and mind need more TLC than they did in my 20s, but who cares? You too…we all can meet challenges and reinvent ourselves at any point in our lives. Here are some things you can try to make a mindset shift.
One - let the past go. Frequently with clients my age and older, I’ll hear them get all nostalgic about how great they USED to be. Like, oh, back when I was in college, I was so cute, and had so much energy! I just can’t do that anymore. Stop comparing yourself to a past version of yourself, and don’t turn into that person who believed they peaked in high school. OK, you’ve been through a bunch of crap, but we all have, let’s be honest. The more years you live, the more stuff happens. So, instead of holding onto a past version of yourself that think of as ideal, make the current version of yourself - this seasoned survivor who’s learned a ton along the way - your ideal. I mean, seriously, if you’re in your 40s listening to this now, would you really want to go back to the immature angsty mindset you had as a teenager? I know I don’t.
Two - realize that nothing’s a foregone conclusion. Genetics are genetics, but we can do a whole lot of damage control with simple, basic lifestyle choices. Just because one of your parents had a heart attack at 50 doesn’t mean it will happen to you, even if you might have a gene that lends itself to this. I hear these comments all the time from clients. In fact, I think I’ve even mentioned this one in a prior episode - I had a client get her kids’ names tattooed on her because her mom had dementia so she was convinced it was just a matter of time before she got it too. It’s not a foregone conclusion. We don’t know. Life is kind of a game of luck in some respects, but we can certainly take as much initiative as possible by making those simple healthy lifestyle choices to lay the best groundwork available to us.
Three - stop using your age as an excuse to not even try something new. Seriously. One of my favorite Instagram pages is of a 70+ year old bodybuilder, who didn’t even start lifting until her late 60s. These days, due to good coaching, good eating, and good mindset shifts, this woman is kicking butt. Her arms are more ripped than mine…my hat is off to her! Does she have wrinkles? Sure, but who cares? She clearly feels amazing and due to her lifestyle shifts she has far fewer health issues than she did even decades before. Imagine…when you’re faced with something new and challenging, instead of saying, I just can’t because of my age, ask yourself again, what might be possible? Make that simple mindset shift, and who knows, you too might be able to reinvent yourself. Will it be harder? Will there be more stuff to balance and more recovery needed? Most likely. But stop using age as an excuse to not give it a shot.
In short, I believe we should celebrate our age. Let’s celebrate what we’ve been through, survived and overcome! Let’s hold onto that as a badge of honor, moving forward with the mindset that anything can be an adventure in our future.